Featured Posts
Tuesday, January 10, 2012 at 5:20 am
Happy New You! 3 Tips…
I learned more in 2011 than I have in any other year. When stress is greatest, and we are not at our best because of it, we are presented with a big opportunity for change. The economy has created for many of us the loss of our livelihood, our homes, our relationships or our loved ones. Though this has called for reflection, recovery and repair, great change from these losses can come when we welcome change rather than resist it – when we allow for a new way to emerge from the ashes, and we choose to recognize the opportunity presented. The following 3 tips are how I found my power after losses in 2011 that felt beyond my control.
1. ACCEPT WHAT IS: In both my professional and personal life, I have noticed that most of us are waiting for a more ideal situation than the one we have. When we have more support, when we have more time, when we feel less overwhelmed, we will live, love and work better. As educators, for example, we too often wait for the system to change, for administration to be more supportive, or for parents to become more involved before we believe we can do our best work. However, as an educator myself, I find it much more empowering and productive – and I enjoy my work more! – when I wait for nothing. When I accept the reality that is in education today, and work within my own parameters BEING the change I want to see. The only thing stopping us from living, loving, and working better is our own self. We can decide that given the circumstances we are in, we will take care of ourselves better so we can give to others what we want them to experience from us. Sometimes this requires that we take a step back, breathe deeper, and re-commit to doing the things that contribute to our wellness. From that place, we will create the change we want to see without needing anything outside of us to change.
2. PRACTICE SELF-DISCIPLINE: This doesn’t sound like a fun tip, does it? I promise it can be! And the pay-off is huge. Right now, in response to our stress, and the powerlessness we feel over it, we are drinking too much, eating too much, shopping too much, or watching too much television. Whatever our coping mechanism – used to distract us from our uncomfortable feelings – there’s a better way. Coping, as I am sure you have noticed, is just a band-aid that does little to transform our experience, to reduce the effects of stress in a lasting way. Self-discipline comes into play when we begin to notice that we are feeling the physical discomfort of stress – a racy feeling, agitation, even anger – and in that moment of noticing we ask ourselves what healthy thing we could do instead. Sit in nature, be with an animal, take a bath, go for a walk, call a good friend (not a negative friend!), or take a nap. Practice noticing how you experience your feelings of discomfort, what it feels like in your body, what story or judgments your mind begins making, and gently guide yourself to a healthier response. Focusing on the good feelings that come from making that better choice is what the neuroscience tells us is key to ensuring that we will make it.
3. DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT: I never thought I would be able to meditate. Never! Sitting quietly for any length of time seemed an impossible task, and the last thing I like to do when stressed is give myself another impossible task! However, the losses I experienced in 2011 were so painful I became determined to create different and better results for myself. Sometimes what we have always done, though helpful, is not enough. For different results, something different is called for, and I knew from the neuroscience meditation was the best “new-for-me” tool I could try. I did not attempt to do this seemingly impossible task on my own (ask for help when you need it!). Rather I found a meditation group and dragged myself there, skeptical of my capacity but determined nonetheless. With the help provided me there, my life began to change quickly. New neural pathways in my brain were being forged and solidified – and continue to be – that allow me now to sit in stillness and hear my own voice and my own way, to block out the “noise” that we all hear around us feeding us ideas, beliefs, standards, and judgments that don’t fit for us or serve us well. Only in the quiet can we hear this “voice” and listen to it. The biggest different and better result I now have from meditation is peace. And when we have peace, and we are peace, we bring peace with us everywhere we go, including our classrooms full of students who need that probably more than anything else we could give them.
Monday, December 5, 2011 at 11:32 pm
December 6th Talk – Los Angeles, CA
Thursday, November 17, 2011 at 4:33 am
Several Studies Offer 3 Important Tips
1. FOCUS ON PRIDE NOT SHAME:
In a recent study reported in the Los Angeles Times, an important finding was made with HUGE implications for both education and parenting: When it comes to self-regulation and self-control, anticipating pride for good behavior helps us behave much better than anticipating shame for bad behavior. In fact, “the more we anticipate public humiliation and guilt, the worse we’re likely to do when it comes to self-control. If we focus on the pride that comes from good behavior, we make better choices, by far.” What we focus on matters. Neuroscientist Richard Davidson, for example, focuses not on fixing what is wrong with conditions like ADHD and Autism, but on revising our minds with life-enriching experiences. This is how we change the brain – in the desired direction!
2. PLAY MORE:
Neuroscientific inquiry has proven time and time again: Play is not trivial or elective. It is necessary to healthy brain development throughout the lifespan. According to a recent article in the New York Times, physically engaging play not only provides intense skill learning, it lessens the symptoms of attention deficit disorder, reduces childhood obesity, increases intellectual performance and helps children perform better academically in the long term. “Deprive a social mammal of its normal rough-and-tumble play and it enters adulthood emotionally fragile, unable to tell a friend from a foe, poor at handling stress, and lacking the skills to mate properly.” Furthermore, studies have found that young homicidal males and felony drunk drivers compared to a control group, lacked normal, developmentally appropriate rough-and-tumble play as children and pre-adolescents.
Play is essential to adults as well! According to the article, “play-deprived adults are often rigid, humorless, inflexible, and closed to trying new options. Playfulness enhances the capacity to innovate, adapt, and master changing circumstances. It is not just an escape. It can help us integrate and reconcile difficult or contradictory circumstances. And, often, it can show us a way out of problems.” Doesn’t this sound completely necessary for us right now? Both our parenting and our teaching – especially during this difficult economic time in our history – will be greatly enhanced by more play and playfulness. If we want our brain to be able to master the challenges we face, we need to have more healthy fun!
3. PLEASE…BE MORE SELECTIVE ABOUT TELEVISION VIEWING:
Recently reported in the New York Times, 4-year-olds who had just watched the fast-paced fantasy cartoon, “SpongeBob SquarePants” did worse on tests of attention and problem-solving than 4-year-olds who watched a slower-paced educational program or spent time drawing. This study follows many others that have arrived at similar conclusions: If we want our children’s brain to function optimally in school and otherwise, we must limit television viewing and be selective about what it is they see. Each and every experience our children have changes their brain, in a way we want it to be changed, or in a way we don’t.
Sunday, November 6, 2011 at 2:14 am
December 6th Talk, Los Angeles…… Filling up fast!
California Friends,
I would love to see you at my next talk in the Los Angeles area on December 6th.
Spaces are limited and are filling up fast!
See the ‘Opted’ or ‘Products’ page to reserve your space.
Even if you can’t make it, please forward this on to your friends and colleagues.
Thanks so much, Reggie
Friday, September 23, 2011 at 6:30 am
Professional Development
Forgive me for re-posting this link but I need to make some corrections. This “trailer” or montage was put together to market and promote my work as a provider of professional development. I am blogging the link to encourage you to forward it to any educator or mental health practitioner you know. It is likely that someone you know will know someone that would hire me for their next professional development day. And that would be so great! Thanks for your help.
Monday, September 19, 2011 at 8:43 am
Here’s to a great school year!
Hi everyone! Pls check out my latest video by clicking the link below- a “trailer” we put together as a short montage of my presentations last season around the country. Enjoy!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011 at 5:20 am
Teachers & Parents, We’ve Lost Our Mind: 3 Tips to Get it Back
While visiting friends over the summer, I was disheartened to find that even those I most admire – smart, successful, loving people – are choosing a path for their children that leaves them all miserable. The stress in the home was palpable. After a LONG day at summer camp, even their 5-year-old was subjected to drilling of math facts at 8:30 at night. In the summer! The poor girl was squirming down her chair to try to disappear under the table, whining, and stating over and over again how much she hated this, that she didn’t want to be doing this. It was painful to watch. When I suggested to the father that this not be insisted upon at this time in this way, he actually said, “We all need to work. She has to get used to work.” “REALLY?!” I thought, “At 5?!” Read more…
Monday, May 30, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Congratulations Graduates!
I just had the privilege of delivering the commencement speech to the very first graduates of the phenomenal charter school, Wildwood Environmental Academy, in Perrysburg, Ohio. I hope you will agree that its message is worth repeating here: An American independent film maker, Woody Allen, once said: Ninety per cent of success is showing up. So to all of you, dear graduates, for showing up, today, and all the days and years of your education, congratulations on your success! You did it! And this is your reward…If 90% of success is showing up, according to Allen, the New York Times recently explained the other 10%. According to their article, the necessary ingredient for a healthy life filled with joy and a sense of well-being (how I define success), is something called, “self-compassion:” the ability to love and forgive yourself even though you are not perfect, you aren’t right all the time, you make mistakes, you even fail. Read more…
Wednesday, May 18, 2011 at 5:50 am
Keep Your Sanity Amidst the Chaos: One Important Tip (x3)
There is no escaping the collapse of this economy, it seems. We are either losing our job or home, or we know and love someone else who is. Educators have received their “pink slips” as budgets continue to be slashed, and foreclosures are everywhere. I have not been immune to this terrible time in our history as I face both the final stages of losing my home as well as the least busy summer season of my career. It would be easy to succumb to the grimness of it all if I wasn’t a person who practices what she preaches! Read more…
Friday, April 29, 2011 at 4:21 am
Online Seminar: Succeeding with Angry Students
Students are not just angrier today than ever before, they are checked out, shut down, disengaged, unmotivated, and violent towards themselves and others. They go from zero (zoned out) to ten (raging) and back down to zero within a space of a few minutes multiple times throughout the day. It behooves us as educators and parents. We don’t know where the behavior comes from or what we can do about it and, because of that, our high school drop out rates are at a staggering incline, as are rates of mental health disorders and suicide in both children and adolescents. Join me online to understand who our students are today, how their brain works optimally, and how we can prevent all the challenges we face as we try to educate our youth. When faced with that shut down or angry student, learn what the most time-efficient, practical, and successful choices are that we can make. Read more…
Friday, April 15, 2011 at 11:00 am
Vlog #2: Responses and the next steps
This just in! Responses and more in my latest Vlog. Please check it out below:
Please click here to go directly to the video.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011 at 8:43 am
Exciting News!
Hi Friends,
Exciting news:
1) MOST IMPORTANTLY: Visit http://drmelrose.com/ and enter your email address to receive updates of my latest blogs full of tips, tools and inspiration for how we can all do our part to change the upbringing and education of our children for the better. This is how I can keep you informed of my movement to stop the testing madness of No Child Left Behind. Read more…
Saturday, March 26, 2011 at 7:35 am
Public Education: Stop the Testing!
Hi Parents and Teachers, please check out my latest video blog below:
Please click here to go directly to the video.
Monday, February 28, 2011 at 10:09 pm
A Follow-Up Article: Why Waldorf Works for My Son
We are not all born equal. At birth, each of our children is born with his or her own degree of vulnerability and resilience based upon both genetics and experience in utero. Experience after birth – the kind and quality of interactions our children have with others in the environment – challenges that vulnerability and resilience to bring about either more or less vulnerability and resilience. Though our capacity to parent our children in healthy ways is paramount, the school we choose for our children is equally so. Read more…
Wednesday, January 26, 2011 at 10:44 pm
Why Waldorf Works: The Neuroscience Explains
As many of you may already know, my 5-year-old son, Jules, attends a Waldorf-inspired school. Please click on the following link to read an article I wrote explaining the neuroscience behind why I chose Waldorf education.
http://themagiconions.blogspot.com/2010/10/discovering-waldorf-waldorf-from.html
Saturday, January 15, 2011 at 4:13 am
Students First: An Educator’s Next 3 Steps
With former chancellor Michelle Rhee’s announcement of StudentsFirst.org and its initiative, teachers may feel discouraged about the stability of their profession. There is a movement in education, supported by a swelling of parents, to let bad teachers go. What I hope can be the focus of such a movement is a thoughtful and productive examination of what makes teachers great. There are plenty of fantastic teachers working today. This I know because of the privilege I have had over the last 19 years to work with them. What makes teachers great is not just what you would think from a common sense point of view. Recent neuroscience makes clear how teachers can be most effective no matter how difficult the challenge. Read more…
Friday, November 19, 2010 at 4:01 am
Educational Reform: An Educator’s First 3 Steps
Recently back from speaking to educators in New York, New Jersey, Michigan, Ohio, and Pennsylvania, I am reminded of the importance of prioritizing in a precise manner when it comes to educational reform. As we consider all the different options we have – more charter schools, longer school days, single-sex “academies” – we must remember a proven fact: Programs don’t change people. People change people. Read more…
Friday, November 5, 2010 at 2:49 am
Educational Reform: Do We Really Need Superman?
Some of you have seen the film, “Waiting for Superman,” or at least have heard about its moving account of 4 families struggling with the limits of our current public school system. It was released at just the right time, as educational reform is getting the kind of attention it deserves. The topic is being explored in magazines, movies, on television, and in congress, but what can we expect? Will there finally be the kind of change that leads to long-term results, the kind of change that will alter the trajectory of birth to prison for far too many of our students? Read more…
Monday, September 27, 2010 at 10:20 am
Congratulations Newark Schools!
What an inspiring announcement and momentous occasion for education everywhere! A 100 million dollar challenge grant has been given to the city of Newark to help its educational system become a beacon of hope and possibility for the entire country. I know without a doubt that with Governor Christie and Mayor Booker leading the way, we will finally see the kind of reform to our schools that we have needed for decades. Read more…
Wednesday, September 1, 2010 at 4:17 am
Education: Too Much, Too Soon, Too Fast
Educators and parents today have bought into the myth that “more equals more.” If our children spend more time in school, have longer academic days, more homework, and less time for “fluff,” like music and art, our test scores will go up, right? Not if the “more” they are experiencing does not involve MORE BALANCE between academics and the arts, academics and physical activity, academics and nature, academics and learning stress-relief skills that they will take with them for the rest of their lives. It is never too early – or too late – to start! Read more…
Sunday, May 30, 2010 at 1:20 am
Healing a Child Requires Self-Care: 3 More Tips
Children pick up on the energy of the adults in their life. The level of activation in our nervous system has a profound physiological effect on them. It matters that we take care of ourselves in the moment a child is struggling before us, that we ground, and breathe, and notice (see previous blog). It also matters how we are taking care of ourselves at every other moment. Here are 3 more important choices we need to make in order to heal a child: Read more…
Friday, May 14, 2010 at 5:02 am
Teleseminar Replay is Available!
WAKE UP PARENTS!!! — Your Child is Stressed!
5 Ways You Can Heal Your Child
I am so excited to announce the availability for your listening pleasure of a recent teleseminar I gave to parents and educators on the 5 Ways You Can Heal Your Child. Please check it out. Ongoing news, information, and resources are at your fingertips!
Friday, May 14, 2010 at 3:15 am
Heal a Child: 3 More Tips
There are 3 powerful ways to stimulate in children their own natural healing mechanism. That is, the parasympathetic branch of their autonomic nervous system that causes immediate relaxation and calm. Read more…
Friday, April 30, 2010 at 2:50 am
Heal a Child Today: 3 Things You Do NOT Want to Do
What we do NOT do when trying to heal a child can be as important as what we do. Though we have love in our hearts and good intentions, we sometimes inadvertently do things that can make things worse, not better. Here are 3 things that you do NOT want to do when trying to heal a child: Read more…
Saturday, April 24, 2010 at 9:51 am
Heal a Child Today: Your First 3 Steps
There are 3 important first steps for YOU to take when trying to heal a child: Read more…
Tuesday, April 13, 2010 at 6:56 am
Free Teleclass: 5 Ways You Can Heal Your Child
WAKE UP PARENTS!!! — Your Child is Stressed!
5 Ways You Can Heal Your Child
Dear Concerned Parent and/or Guardian,
On April 29th, 2010 at 3pm PST/6pm EST, I will be hosting an important, ground-breaking teleclass that will give parents 5 powerful ways to heal their child. If you are a parent of a misdiagnosed, stressed, traumatized, or otherwise misunderstood child, you need to be on this important call as I reveal 5 important approaches that have saved many of the families and children I have worked with. It is my dream that every family has access to this important information. Our children deserve it!
- Dr. Reggie Melrose
Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 11:48 pm
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)…?
A concerned father contacted me recently for advice regarding his son diagnosed with ODD. From the details of the situation it was clear once again that what the neuroscience has to say on the subject is most important to understanding how to intervene (read the work of Bruce Perry, M.D., Ph.D. for more). The brain, as well as the behavior the brain mediates, develops in response to experience. That means that how we, as parents and educators, interact with children is what makes the difference. Adults are the ones with fully developed brains who are better equipped neurally to do things differently. If we can be that safe base for our children by not getting pulled into what some call the “trauma vortex” of the problem, then situations deescalate and the development of negative neural circuitry is prevented. Read more…
Monday, March 8, 2010 at 5:49 am
Kids Burning Out, Dropping Out in The Race to Nowhere
Parents and educators everywhere, please visit the website www.racetonowhere.com, find the film, see it, sign the petition, and join the movement. You will save your own children and children everywhere from a nationwide educational system that isn’t working for anyone. Teachers no longer love their jobs, children no longer love to learn, and the price we are paying as a culture and a society is higher than we can imagine. We haven’t seen the worst of the fallout from “No Child Left Behind,” but it is coming, and it will astound us. Read more…
Saturday, February 20, 2010 at 9:49 am
Third-Grade Burnout: What’s That?
Parents beware. Our children look like they’re holding it together in Kindergarten through 2nd grade, but there’s a growing phenomenon occurring now called third-grade burnout. By the beginning of third grade, many of our children, exposed too soon to too much academic material grow weary of the system. They become run down, stressed out, and actually experience a burnout that many of us adults know too well in our own lives. Though they want to be “big boys” and “big girls” that can do homework like their older siblings and friends, they soon tire of the demands and expectations that their brain isn’t ready for yet. The neuroscience points to plenty of play as essential to brain growth and development, yet there is very little time for play in a system that promotes “teaching to the test” – statewide testing that insists on “leaving no child behind” – whatever that means. Read more…
Sunday, January 31, 2010 at 8:08 am
9-year-old Suicide
My heart is aching a little more than usual this week. Another reminder of the fatal effects of stress and trauma in children leaves me feeling more committed than ever to delivering the message I do. As parents and teachers, we can prevent such a loss. Young children need nothing less than we do to experience well-being – a sense of belonging, that we matter to someone, that we have value, a meaningful role to play, a contribution to make. We all need experiences of success and mastery to feel capable, competent, and good enough just the way we are. We also need to feel connected in a positive way to other people, nature, animals, and a community that cares. Read more…
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