Featured Posts
Sunday, May 30, 2010 at 1:20 am
Healing a Child Requires Self-Care: 3 More Tips
Children pick up on the energy of the adults in their life. The level of activation in our nervous system has a profound physiological effect on them. It matters that we take care of ourselves in the moment a child is struggling before us, that we ground, and breathe, and notice (see previous blog). It also matters how we are taking care of ourselves at every other moment. Here are 3 more important choices we need to make in order to heal a child:
1. Make better choices: When we notice the impact on our nervous system of our daily habits, we can begin to make better choices. Our focus needs to be on creating in us a more relaxed, flexible state of well-being that comes from doing all the things that lower our stress hormones (cortisol), heart rate, and blood pressure. Examples of what the neuroscience points to that can have this positive effect on us include more sleep, less caffeine and sugar, more deep, long experiences of nature, healthy foods, more water, as well as slowing down, scheduling less, and turning off the phone, television, and computer.
2. Be still: Have quiet, meditative time that helps you to notice the impact of your state of mind on your body. For example, we now know from the neuroscience that thinking about old hurts increases the symptoms of stress, yet simply imagining forgiving transgressions decreases those same symptoms. Anger and sadness can be replaced by feelings of relief and joy when we choose to forgive. When we are still, and imagine receiving love, forgiveness, and compassion from ourselves and others, we are able to notice the experience of these feelings of relief and joy in our bodies, and that is what it takes to heal ourselves as well as a child.
3. Practice compassion: Start with compassion for you. We are human, flesh and bone. That means we don’t get to be perfect. When we appreciate where we have come from, all we’ve been through, and that we have done the best we can given our age at the time, and the resources that were available or unavailable to us, we can forgive and feel compassion for ourselves. When we practice compassion for ourselves, it becomes second nature to want to understand the stories of others so that we can have compassion for them as well. Healing children requires compassion, but we can’t give to them what we haven’t experienced ourselves.
Friday, May 14, 2010 at 5:02 am
Teleseminar Replay is Available!
I am so excited to announce the availability for your listening pleasure of a recent teleseminar I gave to parents and educators on the 5 Ways You Can Heal Your Child. Please check it out, as well as my monthly support group called HelpingKidsCircle.com. Ongoing news, information, and resources are at your fingertips!
Friday, May 14, 2010 at 3:15 am
Heal a Child: 3 More Tips
There are 3 powerful ways to stimulate in children their own natural healing mechanism. That is, the parasympathetic branch of their autonomic nervous system that causes immediate relaxation and calm.
1. Sleep: Our children need more sleep. Sleep is what lowers the brain and body’s stress hormones that have accumulated throughout the day. When sleep is delayed, disrupted, or shortened then cortisol remains elevated causing agitation to the nervous system and a decreased ability to cope. Eliminate media and too much sugar before bedtime, and have a structured before-sleep routine that will ease them into their slumber peacefully.
2. Nature: Spending plenty of time outside in nature triggers a deep feeling of wellness and connection that is necessary for healing. Too many of our children live in urban sprawl without enough opportunity to be outside. They spend too much time in front of the television or a video game instead. Media is naturally limited when our children spend more time outside, and it’s good for us too! So please, join your child, breathe in the fresh air, and teach them to orient to the beauty of the world around them by noticing the colors, scents, and critters of the park, beach, or any other outdoor space you’re in.
3. Pets: The neuroscience has taught us plenty about the multitude of benefits that come from developing a relationship with an animal. We know that petting an animal reduces heart rate, blood pressure, cortisol levels, and the need for the use of sedatives. There is a safety with animals that not every child feels with people, and a unique opportunity for connection to themselves and the world around them when children form this special kind of relationship. If you can’t own an animal, please bring your children to nature centers where they can feed the ducks, watch turtles swimming, chase the rabbits, or ride a horse.
Friday, April 30, 2010 at 2:50 am
Heal a Child Today: 3 Things You Do NOT Want to Do
What we do NOT do when trying to heal a child can be as important as what we do. Though we have love in our hearts and good intentions, we sometimes inadvertently do things that can make things worse, not better. Here are 3 things that you do NOT want to do when trying to heal a child:
1. You do not want to get pulled in. I think of that space that a struggling child is in as a trauma vortex that can easily pull us into its center if we are not careful. When we get pulled in, we become emotional, reactive, and out of control, and that is often when we make bad decisions, like threaten something we can’t really follow through on (nor do we really want to.) In my previous blog, I explained the 3 most important things to do first when trying to heal a child: feel your feet on the ground, breathe deeply in through your nose filling your belly up with air, and notice your separateness from the child and the vortex. This is how you can hold a safe space for that child to come back to.
2. You do not want to talk much at all. When a child is struggling, the part of the brain that is most active is the part we share with animals that doesn’t speak the language of words. Their more rational, language-based brain becomes hijacked. When we talk “at” a child who doesn’t have the capacity in that moment to process our words, the child becomes more agitated and agony is unnecessarily prolonged. Challenge yourself to be still. Ground yourself, breathe, and hold a safe, compassionate place for the child to come back to. You’ll be surprised how quickly this happens when we don’t agitate the animal brain with our words.
3. You don’t want to encourage a “safe” expression of violence, like punching a pillow, kicking the wall, or pounding a punching bag. Anytime we engage in a behavior, we create neural connections for that behavior in our brain. When children are encouraged to take their aggression out on inanimate objects, neural connections for aggression get stronger the more the behavior occurs. When neural connections get stronger, the behavior becomes more automatic. Rather, replace the violent behavior with a healthier outlet like running, jumping, or pushing hands until the energy is all used up.
Talk to you on the call today at 3 p.m.!
Saturday, April 24, 2010 at 9:51 am
Heal a Child Today: Your First 3 Steps
There are 3 important first steps for YOU to take when trying to heal a child:
1. Feel your feet on the ground. You may think I’m kidding. I’m not. The first step to take any time a child is in front of you struggling as they may be, triggering you as they may do, is to stand firmly on the ground and feel it. Feel yourself connected to the floor, to the ground, to the earth, and just watch what happens next…
2. Breathe. When you feel your feet on the ground and really notice your connection to the earth beneath you, you will breathe… deeply. When you breathe, be sure to breathe in through your nose and fill your belly up with air. We know from important neuroscience that when we breathe in through the nose and fill the belly up with air, we powerfully stimulate what’s called the parasympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system. When we do, a deeply calming response is ushered in us, and from that state, healing is possible.
3. Notice. Simply begin to notice, without criticism of yourself or the child, notice how separate the two of you actually are. You are not this little person in front of you. He or she is not you. Notice with compassion how he or she is struggling in his or her own skin, and that sometimes there is very little we can do. In fact, many times, the less we do, and the more we simply let ourselves BE…the more we are grounded and breathing calmly, the less damage we do, and the quicker our child “finds their way back home.”
Please follow these steps and be the safe place the child in front of you wants to come back home to. Learn more in my upcoming teleseminar Thursday, April 29th. Talk to you then!
Thursday, April 22, 2010 at 10:17 pm
Announcing HelpingKidsCircle.com!
After years and years of educating and promoting natural and scientifically supported strategies to heal our children, I am so excited to announce the launch of HelpingKidsCircle.com, which is an integral membership-based community for parents and teachers that provides effective, innovative, and scientifically supported strategies and resources with one common goal—helping all children achieve optimum learning, while enhancing their adaptive, prosocial behavior and success.
Below is the press release that was distributed today. Take a look and pass it along to any concerned parent and teacher who needs this vital support for a loved one. Additionally, next week, I will be hosting a ground-breaking free teleclass to discuss 5 Ways You Can Heal Your Child Now! Please spread the word about this too-important-to-miss call! Parents and teachers this is truly too important to miss!
Launch of New Online Community Provides an Innovative Learning Resource for Parents and Teachers
| School and Clinical Psychologist announces HelpingKidsCircle.com, a community dedicated to enhance learning and achievement among children.
PR Log (Press Release) – Apr 22, 2010 – (Long Beach, CA) – April 22, 2010 – HelpingKidsCircle.com announces the official launch of their program, dedicated to helping children overcome stress and trauma, while promoting learning and achievement without limits or medication. Founded by a school and clinical psychologist, the website will officially open to parents and teachers on April 29, 2010. Founded by Dr. Regalena ‘Reggie’ Melrose, a licensed clinical psychologist and credentialed school psychologist, the online community provides memberships for teachers and parents. Continue reading here… |
Tuesday, April 13, 2010 at 6:56 am
Free Teleclass: 5 Ways You Can Heal Your Child
WAKE UP PARENTS!!! — Your Child is Stressed!
5 Ways You Can Heal Your Child
Dear Concerned Parent and/or Guardian,
On April 29th at 3pm PST/6pm EST, I will be hosting an important, ground-breaking teleclass that will give parents 5 powerful ways to heal their child. If you are a parent of a misdiagnosed, stressed, traumatized, or otherwise misunderstood child, you need to be on this important call as I reveal 5 important approaches that have saved many of the families and children I have worked with. It is my dream that every family has access to this important information. Our children deserve it!
Please put in your name and email below, and I will promptly email you the teleclass details. Thank you!
- Dr. Reggie Melrose
Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 11:48 pm
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)…?
A concerned father contacted me recently for advice regarding his son diagnosed with ODD. From the details of the situation it was clear once again that what the neuroscience has to say on the subject is most important to understanding how to intervene (read the work of Bruce Perry, M.D., Ph.D. for more). The brain, as well as the behavior the brain mediates, develops in response to experience. That means that how we, as parents and educators, interact with children is what makes the difference. Adults are the ones with fully developed brains who are better equipped neurally to do things differently. If we can be that safe base for our children by not getting pulled into what some call the “trauma vortex” of the problem, then situations deescalate and the development of negative neural circuitry is prevented.
Based on Dr. Perry’s work and other neuroscientists who study the developing brain, we need to reconsider the diagnosis of ODD. We too often pathologize our children for having natural responses to the confusing, stressful, sometimes terrifying events of their lives. The behaviors associated with ODD, although extremely challenging at times, are simply revealing a physiological state, one that is the natural result of particular kinds of experiences. According to Dr. Perry, the physiological state of children and adolescents with so-called ODD is a freeze response. When any one of us feels threatened or terrified by something, we instinctively go into fight, flight, or freeze. For many children, because they are so dependent and vulnerable, a freeze response is often the choice their brain makes at such a time, building neural connections for that freeze to become a more likely response any time the child feels stressed or scared in the future.
We don’t yet appreciate how pressured, stressed, scared, even terrified many of our children and adolescents feel in today’s world. We don’t yet know how the experience of these feelings changes the brain and nervous system. Once we do, however, I know we will reconsider every diagnosis we make of children and adolescents, not just ODD, but ADHD, Bipolar, Depression, Anxiety Disorders, even Autism. Learn more about the effects of stress and trauma on the brain, learning, and behavior by reading “Why Students Underachieve: What Educators and Parents Can Do about It” and “You Can Heal Your Child: A Guide for Parents of Misdiagnosed, Stressed, Traumatized, and Otherwise Misunderstood Children.”
Monday, March 8, 2010 at 5:49 am
Kids Burning Out, Dropping Out in The Race to Nowhere
Parents and educators everywhere, please visit the website www.racetonowhere.com, find the film, see it, sign the petition, and join the movement. You will save your own children and children everywhere from a nationwide educational system that isn’t working for anyone. Teachers no longer love their jobs, children no longer love to learn, and the price we are paying as a culture and a society is higher than we can imagine. We haven’t seen the worst of the fallout from “No Child Left Behind,” but it is coming, and it will astound us. Read more…
Saturday, February 20, 2010 at 9:49 am
Third-Grade Burnout: What’s That?
Parents beware. Our children look like they’re holding it together in Kindergarten through 2nd grade, but there’s a growing phenomenon occurring now called third-grade burnout. By the beginning of third grade, many of our children, exposed too soon to too much academic material grow weary of the system. They become run down, stressed out, and actually experience a burnout that many of us adults know too well in our own lives. Though they want to be “big boys” and “big girls” that can do homework like their older siblings and friends, they soon tire of the demands and expectations that their brain isn’t ready for yet. The neuroscience points to plenty of play as essential to brain growth and development, yet there is very little time for play in a system that promotes “teaching to the test” – statewide testing that insists on “leaving no child behind” – whatever that means. Read more…
Sunday, January 31, 2010 at 8:08 am
9-year-old Suicide
My heart is aching a little more than usual this week. Another reminder of the fatal effects of stress and trauma in children leaves me feeling more committed than ever to delivering the message I do. As parents and teachers, we can prevent such a loss. Young children need nothing less than we do to experience well-being – a sense of belonging, that we matter to someone, that we have value, a meaningful role to play, a contribution to make. We all need experiences of success and mastery to feel capable, competent, and good enough just the way we are. We also need to feel connected in a positive way to other people, nature, animals, and a community that cares. Read more…
Thursday, January 7, 2010 at 10:00 am
Thank You Teachers!
I recently finished my fall seminar series speaking to K-12 teachers across the United States, and I was so impressed by their dedication and commitment to understanding their students. They expressed that up to 50 per cent of their classrooms are filled by students who are disengaged, shut down, and checked out of the learning process. Their receptivity to my message of understanding these students within the context of neural development was more than exciting, it was inspiring. I am motivated, more like super-charged, to keep informing educators at every level about the effects of stress and trauma on the children who are placed in our care. Only when we understand how the brain is changed by the very real experiences of children’s lives can we intervene with them in ways that work in the long term. Read more…
Saturday, October 3, 2009 at 2:13 am
Conscious Psychiatry
I am finally writing about an experience I had recently with a psychiatrist. It was a good experience, so I want to share. Most of us (I hope!) loathe the idea of putting our child on any kind of medication, no matter what an educator or other professional may tell us is “wrong” with him or her (i.e. ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Anxiety, PTSD). We are especially concerned because psychiatrists often spend very little time with our child before assigning such a pathological label and prescribing potent drugs, too often as a cocktail in combination with other drugs. If we are not collectively disturbed about this, we need to be! However, today, and since having a long lunch with this particular psychiatrist, I feel hopeful that there are psychiatrists who spend a good deal of time with the child who will receive a prescription, as well as his or her family. This particular psychiatrist spent two hours with each of the clients I felt would benefit from such a consultation. He wanted to know their whole story so he would not be prescribing anything “in a vacumn,” as he said. He prescribed exactly what I felt would be of benefit to each child in very small doses, NOT in combination with any other drug, and further instructed the child NOT to take it if after he or she did, it didn’t feel right. He told me that he doesn’t want any of his patients taking anything that doesn’t feel good. And that is the whole idea. We need to want relief for our children, however that is possible. In rare cases, specific kinds of medicine tailored to very particular needs can be just the thing that provides the relief they need. I had a wake up call about this recently with two wonderful teenage girls I have worked with for over a year. The life circumstances related to their suffering were not only beyond their control, but also not going to change. They asked me for relief! They had the courage, knowing how I feel about medicating children – or anyone for that matter! – to ask me if I thought there was a pill that could help them cope with their feelings better. This question, after a year of hard work in therapy that brought some gains but not the relief they needed on a daily basis living in the situation they were in. It is at times like that I feel so grateful for conscious psychiatry. Each of the girls is on something now they feel good about, that is helping, and that is enhancing therapeutic outcome as we continue our work together. Thank you, my psychiatrist friend, for the work you do, and let us hope there are many more out there like you.
Monday, August 31, 2009 at 3:37 am
Resources for Parents and Educators
Continuing my formal education until I was 30 years of age definitely hard-wired my brain to take summers off. But alas, it is time to get back to work. Although I’ve been seeing my clients in private practice – and enjoying that part of my work immensely – I must admit, I have been taking a break from everything else other than parenting my beautiful dream of a son. He is starting school shortly and reminding me that parents and educators need plenty of resources as we face another school year that will be filled with both the joys and sorrows of being alive. My newest book, You Can Heal Your Child: A Guide for Parents of Misdiagnosed, Stressed, Traumatized, and Otherwise Misunderstood Children never got a proper launching so that will happen shortly. Stay tuned…but please know that it is currently available at amazon.com as are my first book, Why Students Underachieve, and my activities book for adults working with children, Hope and Healing. Additionally, I have submitted more articles to ezinearticles.com so check those out for a free resource. I hope you will all join me in learning more about how we can stop the misdiagnoses and overmedication of our children, and in the process realize how we can all live a less stressful, more joyful life.
Sunday, June 14, 2009 at 9:49 am
Update: You Can Heal Your Child
Hi everyone. I didn’t know how best to do this so I am trying with my blog. Many of you have attempted to purchase my new book, You Can Heal Your Child: A Guide for Parents of Misdiagnosed, Stressed, Traumatized, and Otherwise Misunderstood Children, but amazon says it is “out of stock.” Here’s the deal: Unless you order it, amazon will not ask me to send them more books in order to re-stock. So please, I know it requires patience and can be frustrating…but order the book and I promise, you will get it. I know you will find the information worth waiting for. Take good care, and thank you for your support. Reggie (www.DrMelrose.com)
Saturday, May 30, 2009 at 12:45 am
Healthy vs. Unhealthy Stress
Brief periods of predictable, moderate stress are not problematic to us or our children. In fact, stressful experiences – when brief, predictable or moderate – prepare us all to cope with the world. Neuroscientific studies – those that look at the effects of stress on the brain – reveal that our survival depends upon the ability to mount a response to stress (Shonkoff & Phillips, 2000). When stress is unpredictable, severe, or prolonged, however, that is when problems arise for us as adults, as well as children. A child’s brain can literally be altered by stress in demonstrative ways that negatively impact physical, cognitive, emotional, and social growth. Please…parents, educators, and others who care for our children, notice, recognize, and acknowledge the kind of stress they are experiencing today. Connect the dots between that often overwhelming pressure they feel and the learning, behavioral, or emotional problems they may be displaying. Take action. Respond accordingly. We can make the difference. We can facilitate changes that reduce unpredictable, severe, or prolonged stress. Doing so can create the kind of relief, balance, and healing that radically decreases problems, whether learning, behavioral, or emotional. Learn more about what can be stressful for a child and what kinds of positive changes we can make in You Can Heal Your Child available at amazon.com. Visit www.DrMelrose.com for more information and resources.
Friday, May 22, 2009 at 9:07 am
Intervene Early
Too many of us are guilty of intervening with our children too late. Whether they are struggling socially, emotionally, or with their academics, we want to believe our children’s behaviors are part of a normal transition from one stage of development to the next. As educators, we don’t want to overidentify problems. We want to believe, as parents do, that children catch up, they’re resilient, and they don’t need us making a bigger deal out of something than it has to be. Unfortunately, not wanting to overreact has meant we “under-respond.” Our children need us to be paying close attention, recognizing a genuine struggle when we see it, and doing something about it as early as possible. With reading, for example, statistics from the Canadian National Institute of Child Health and Human Development tell the tale: 95% of poor readers can be brought up to grade level if they receive effective help within the first couple of years of school; 75% of children whose help is delayed to age 9 or later continue to struggle throughout their school years; if help is given in 4th grade, rather than in late kindergarten, it takes 4 times as long to improve the same skills by the same amount; and, 44% of parents who noticed their child was struggling waited a year or more before acknowledging their child may have a problem. The truth is it is never too late to help a child, whether the challenge is academic, social, or emotional, but early intervention is what makes the biggest, quickest difference. Let none of us, parents or educators, delay in recognizing and responding to the needs of our children. To learn more about early intervention with the effects of stress and trauma in children, please visit www.DrMelrose.com and read You Can Heal Your Child available at amazon.com.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009 at 11:50 am
The Stress Factor
I often hear parents, educators, and many concerned others ask the important question (in so many words): “Why has there been an increase in the incidence of various kinds of childhood problems?” We all want to understand why bullying is so rampant in schools today; why 1 in 150 births results in a child with Autism when just two decades ago it was closer to 1 in 10,000; why so many more children today appear to have ADHD, Bipolar, or depression. When I listen to panels of professionals answering these questions, I do not hear a discussion about the very real and profound impact of stress on the brain and nervous system, and ultimately on the conditions of our children’s lives. The sources of stress and daily pressure are innumerable, as are their consequences on babies developing in the womb, infants trying to bond, toddlers forming attachments, as well as children’s physiological states. It is long known that most of us are born with one genetic propensity or another that may or may not become realized depending upon a single critical factor – the presence or absence of stress. As I listen to the accounts of hundreds of troubled children describing their experiences it is clear to me that they are overwhelmed by ever increasing demands and expectations from teachers, coaches, parents, siblings, and peers. They experience peer pressure, sexual, cyber and other forms of bullying, as well as family reconfiguration that can often be confusing and painful. These have all become such “normal” parts of our children’s lives we fail to recognize their imprint. As we continue to study the effects of stress, crises, and other real events in our children’s lives, particularly on the brain, I believe we will have a clear understanding of why childhood problems have increased, and a clear direction on what to do about it. Less stress is best.
Please read You Can Heal Your Child to learn more.
Friday, May 8, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Healing Trauma Reduces Violence
In his “vision of a compassionate future,” the Dalai Lama stated that “many people today agree that we need to reduce violence in our society. If we are truly serious about this, we must deal with the roots of violence, particularly those that exist within each of us. We need to embrace ‘inner disarmament,’ reducing our own emotions of suspicion, hatred, and hostility toward our brothers and sisters.” But how do we do that? The most powerful way I have seen this happen over and over again has been through the healing of trauma. The effects of trauma are now well-known. While it is true that for some traumatized people a pattern of underaroused behaviors can surface, such as depression or apathy, for many others, even if they are in an underaroused state some or most of the time, uncontrollable anger, even violent rages can occur. Violence begets violence. Seventy-five per cent of all school shooters were the victims of bullying, for example. Had we noticed that bullying was taking place, had we not minimized it but taken it seriously, had we intervened early and healed its effects, lives could have been saved. Each of us can begin to reduce violence in the world by starting with the healing of our own trauma, thereby reducing our own tendencies to act with suspicion, hatred, or hostility with strangers or the people we love the most.
Sunday, May 3, 2009 at 4:04 am
Parents & Teachers: Compassion is the Cure
I am getting frustrated with parents who I know love their children dearly, and teachers who I know want to see their students succeed, who operate as though the ideal is real. They have a dream for their children, a wish for how they had turned out or would turn out. So much so that they cannot see who is standing right in front of them. A child who tragically lost his mother to heart failure. A child who is in the middle of an acrimonious divorce between the two people he or she loves the most. A child being viciously bullied at school. A child who has experienced medical trauma or who lives in a dangerous neighborhood. The less than ideal events and circumstances of our children’s lives are numerous and diverse. Yet we continue to expect that they are going to be a number one student, a star athlete, and perfectly behaved. I tried to explain to a father the other day that he expects his 11-year-old son to win the marathon when after suddenly and tragically losing his mother at the age of 7 he is now running the race with a broken leg. Parents and teachers, please try to see the child standing before you. Not the child before the event occurred, but the child that is before you now, who needs help to learn to manage life in a new way, a life that is no longer so innocent, sheltered, or childlike. Traumatized children now know that life is difficult and bad things can happen at any turn. They need our understanding, compassion, and our acceptance of them exactly how they are.
Saturday, April 25, 2009 at 1:15 am
First Do No Harm – A Proposal For Crisis Intervention in Schools
The last two decades of neuroscientific research have led to new understandings of how the brain and body are affected by crises. In response to this new research, I propose an alternative approach to crisis intervention in schools. The approach engages the oldest, wisest part of our brain, the brain stem, through the language of sensations for two reasons: first, because the core of the crisis experience is processed by the brain stem, and second, because the language of this more primitive brain is sensations.
continue reading First Do No Harm – A Proposal For Crisis Intervention in Schools
Tuesday, April 21, 2009 at 3:22 am
Remembering Columbine
Today is the 10th anniversary of Columbine: April 20, 2009. I hope we will remember Littleton, Colorado and that tragic day in 1999, the 15 lives taken so violently, and the dozens of others who survived but were changed forever by the experience. Since then we have learned a great deal more about what can lead to such disturbing acts of terror. We have learned, for example, that 75% of all school shooters had been the victims of bullying. We were finally forced to take the traumatic effects of bullying and other peer abuse seriously. What I fear hasn’t been taken seriously enough, however, is the critical nature of intervening as EARLY as possible with all forms of violence that undermine our children’s safety. There are very specific ways to intervene effectively with our children at home, as parents, and with students in schools, as educators, to promote the peace and well-being needed for ultimate achievement and success. Please read You Can Heal Your Child and Why Students Underachieve (available at amazon.com) to learn more.
Friday, April 10, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Interview on ResponsibleTeachers.com
The co-founders of ResponsibleTeachers.com interviewed me last month for a podcast and here is what they had to say: “Dr. Melrose is an amazing resource for anyone who works with children. Her knowledge on stress and trauma and how it affects the brain in children is limitless. She takes very complex issues that are valuable in everyday experiences for parents, educators and children and she boils them down to very understandable terms. We highly recommend her books and her lectures for parents and teachers.” (Britt Michaelian, M.A. and Cheryl Daniels). Please listen to our conversation by clicking on my “Media” page at www.DrMelrose.com.
Friday, April 3, 2009 at 10:42 am
New Book: You Can Heal Your Child
Stay tuned for the launching of my new book, You Can Heal Your Child: A Guide for Parents of Misdiagnosed, Stressed, Traumatized, and Otherwise Misunderstood Children. View the cover and pre-order at amazon.com.
Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 3:21 am
Listen to Dr. Reggie on Amazing Women…
I had a great time last month being interviewed by Dr. Marlene on her radio show called Amazing Women…Brains, Beauty, and Style. Listen to our discussion on the effects of chronic stress and trauma in children today by clicking on my media page at www.DrMelrose.com.
Friday, March 6, 2009 at 6:32 am
Remembering the Children of Katrina
I received a notice today of a book written about the “children left behind by Hurricane Katrina.” I was thrilled to see such a book written, especially because of its emphasis on the need for schools to be prepared to respond effectively to these students’ unique needs. Like other children who have experienced natural disasters and other terrifying events, many now have an elevated baseline level of anxiety that interferes with learning and adaptive behavior. They no longer operate within what some call “the optimum zone of arousal” so necessary for healthy self-regulation of learning, affect, and behavior. There are many things we can do, however, as educators – and as parents – to help soothe the overly active nervous system of children who have been through stressful or traumatic events. Please read “Why Students Underachieve: What Educators and Parents Can Do about It” or the many articles I have written on the web to find out more.
Thursday, February 26, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Pink Shirt Day
It felt good to wear my pink shirt today and ask my college students – future teachers – to remember this day when their students are looking up to them, to be sure not only to commemorate the day each year, but also to live its meaning all days of the year in their classroom and beyond. One client I worked with today is the parent of a victim of bullying. His 9-year-old son now lives with the pain and shame of having been abused by his peers since his first day of Kindergarten, whose nightmare hasn’t ended yet. Any one of us, whether or not we are in a leadership position, can encourage others to join in on taking a stand against bullying, racism, and any other form of peer abuse. To those of you who understand its far-reaching consequences for all of us in this interconnected society we live in, and who took that stand today, thank you for doing your part. We will eradicate the effects of abuse and every other form of trauma, and we will do it one enlightened act at a time.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009 at 7:51 am
Wear Pink Wednesday to Take a Stand
This coming Wednesday, February 25th, wear pink and take a stand against bullying, racism and any other form of peer abuse. I, for one, am thrilled, that we are finally taking something seriously that has been minimized for decades, something that we now know can have long-lasting traumatic effects on our children. With the overwhelming amount of evidence we have that reveals the specific kinds of changes trauma can make to the brain, changes that compromise learning and adaptive behavior, let us boldly show that we are paying attention and that we care. Visit http://www.pinkshirtday.ca to learn more.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009 at 6:25 am
5 Things You Can Do to Help
Whether you are a parent or a teacher, there are 5 things you could be doing right now to help a child who has been shaken by a crisis, too much stress, or trauma. The goal is always to restore a greater sense of balance and ease in the child’s nervous system so he or she can be fully present to learn and behave adaptively. 1) Foster a compassionate RELATIONSHIP that communicates, “We will get through this together.” 2) Create relative SAFETY with consistent rules and regulations that are posted and/or reviewed with clear rewards and consequences that the child can come to predict. Safety comes from predictability. 3) Involve the child in COMMUNITY, a place where they feel they belong, where they matter and have chances to start over anew no matter what. 4) Provide the child with multiple opportunities to experience their own COMPETENCE. What they feel good at doesn’t matter, just that they feel good doing something, i.e. playing a game, making someone laugh, helping someone, making something from scratch, learning something new, teaching something to a younger child, getting a chance to show off a talent, skill, ability, athletic, artistic, or intellectual accomplishment. 5) Support SENSORY AWARENESS by talking to and engaging the child in noticing the sensations that are happening in his or her body, where they are tight, tense, relaxed, calm, shaky, or warm. The body is speaking to us to let us know when we need to take care of ourselves. If you learn to do this for yourself first, you will be able to pass on to your child one of the most important resources of all (please read “Why Students Underachieve: What Educators and Parents Can Do about It” to learn why all of this is so important.)
Monday, February 16, 2009 at 7:51 am
Trauma or Just Tough Times?
Someone explained to me recently that the word “trauma” is used so much today that it has become a cliche; it has lost its meaning. Perhaps we call what isn’t neccesarily traumatic “trauma,” and thereby render the word meaningless even when used appropriately. So what do I mean as a trauma healing specialist, when I use the word? I mean an encounter with the possibility of death, an experience of terror that leaves us with the sense, the knowing, that we could die at any moment. This is what traumatized people, including our children, thereafter believe, not only that death is possible but also likely, and whether we live or die is beyond our control. A traumatized child in school trying to concentrate on reading, writing, and arithmetic is at a disadvantage we are only beginning to understand. The number of children coming to school traumatized is a number growing so vast we are tempted to deny it, minimize it, or ignore it altogether. We don’t have to. As parents and educators alike, we have all we need to help these children, we just have to want to know what’s really going on. And I have to tell you, it’s not just tough times.
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