Regalena "Reggie" Melrose, Ph.D.

Kids Burning Out, Dropping Out in The Race to Nowhere

Reggie — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 22:49:58 +0000

Parents and educators everywhere, please visit the website www.racetonowhere.com, find the film, see it, sign the petition, and join the movement. You will save your own children and children everywhere from a nationwide educational system that isn’t working for anyone. Teachers no longer love their jobs, children no longer love to learn, and the price we are paying as a culture and a society is higher than we can imagine. We haven’t seen the worst of the fallout from “No Child Left Behind,” but it is coming, and it will astound us.

Not only are children burning out from too much too soon, they are dropping out, and worse still, they are literally killing themselves in numbers we haven’t seen in decades. Too few of us are paying attention to the effects of the stress and pressure our children face, and fewer still are doing anything about it. But we can! Our hands are NOT tied! We can say, “Enough!” We can stop buying into a system that doesn’t work. We can rise up in our schools, in our districts, and as voters to put an end to “teaching to the test.” We can say, “No!” to homework packets in Kindergarten and beyond, especially when we educate ourselves about the fact that there is NO correlation between homework and achievement! None!

What we are doing is not only NOT working, it is HURTING our most precious resources. Please, pay attention to your children. Notice the effects of too much stress and pressure in their lives. Stop over-scheduling. Stop with the homework. Start with more rest, more play, more time as a family and TRUST. KNOW that healthy, happy children who are with us, engaged in life and learning, truly LEARNING is what we will have when we care more about their ability to think critically, outside the box, with creativity and passion, rather than their ability to pass a test. Please learn more at www.racetonowhere.com.

Third-Grade Burnout: What’s That?

Reggie — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 02:49:35 +0000

Parents beware. Our children look like they’re holding it together in Kindergarten through 2nd grade, but there’s a growing phenomenon occurring now called third-grade burnout. By the beginning of third grade, many of our children, exposed too soon to too much academic material grow weary of the system. They become run down, stressed out, and actually experience a burnout that many of us adults know too well in our own lives. Though they want to be “big boys” and “big girls” that can do homework like their older siblings and friends, they soon tire of the demands and expectations that their brain isn’t ready for yet. The neuroscience points to plenty of play as essential to brain growth and development, yet there is very little time for play in a system that promotes “teaching to the test” – statewide testing that insists on “leaving no child behind” – whatever that means.

As a response to this approach to education, many parents are deciding to start their children in Kindergarten at 6 years of age (as opposed to the typical 5 years of age), which I applaud enthusiastically. Knowing how the brain develops, functions, and is impacted by stress, I see this as an important option that I, too, am adopting for my son. I urge more parents to begin to notice the effect early exposure to academics has on many of our children, so they find their own way to protect against this. There are many alternative programs that understand the neuroscience and provide a wonderful antidote to the system. At the very least, we can give our children an extra year of play so their brain is more mature and thereby at a greater state of readiness for what is currently required. Please read my newest book, “You Can Heal Your Child: A Guide for Parents of Misdiagnosed, Stressed, Traumatized, and Otherwise Misunderstood Children” to understand more about the effects of stress on our children and what we, as parents, can do about it.

9-year-old Suicide

Reggie — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 01:08:59 +0000

My heart is aching a little more than usual this week. Another reminder of the fatal effects of stress and trauma in children leaves me feeling more committed than ever to delivering the message I do. As parents and teachers, we can prevent such a loss. Young children need nothing less than we do to experience well-being – a sense of belonging, that we matter to someone, that we have value, a meaningful role to play, a contribution to make. We all need experiences of success and mastery to feel capable, competent, and good enough just the way we are. We also need to feel connected in a positive way to other people, nature, animals, and a community that cares. When these needs are not met, the effects of our unavoidably stressful lives take over, leaving us disheartened, demoralized, even despondent. This happens no matter what age we are. Young children’s lives are no less stressful than our own, and as parents and teachers, we need to get real about that. Once we do, we can be there for them in just the way they need. Through a safe relationship with us that communicates that we see them, who they really are, and what they’re really going through, we communicate that we get them, that we understand. Just that can help to balance out the effects of stress and trauma on the brain and nervous system and give our children hope for tomorrow. Please join me in ending the unnecessary suffering of children by reading my books, hearing me speak on youtube, and coming to one of my talks. You’ll see how simple it is to be a powerfully healing force in a child’s life. Thank you.

Thank You Teachers!

Reggie — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 03:00:15 +0000

I recently finished my fall seminar series speaking to K-12 teachers across the United States, and I was so impressed by their dedication and commitment to understanding their students. They expressed that up to 50 per cent of their classrooms are filled by students who are disengaged, shut down, and checked out of the learning process. Their receptivity to my message of understanding these students within the context of neural development was more than exciting, it was inspiring. I am motivated, more like super-charged, to keep informing educators at every level about the effects of stress and trauma on the children who are placed in our care. Only when we understand how the brain is changed by the very real experiences of children’s lives can we intervene with them in ways that work in the long term.

I spoke to teachers from Charlotte, NC, St. Louis and Kansas City, MO, Tampa and Miami, FL, San Diego and Los Angeles, CA, Houston, San Antonio, and Dallas, TX, and they all got it! The neuroscience does NOT support any one particular intervention when it comes to reaching and engaging the disengaged student. It only supports what are called “nonspecific” interventions. That is, “What are the conditions within which we are making learning and adaptive behavior possible? How are we BEING with our students? How are they experiencing us and their learning environment?” Our students feel us out in a sensory way, not a cognitive way. They wonder, however subconsciously, “Am I safe? Does this person care? How are they showing me they care? Do I matter? Do I have value? Do I have an important contribution to make? Am I good enough just the way I am?” It is only when we begin relating to our students in a human way, not from a pedestal of having it all together ourselves, but from communicating in a sensory way that we get them, we understand their lives are difficult just as ours are, that they mess up, just like we do, that they need infinite chances to repair, just as we do. That is when they begin to feel us. They begin to FEEL that human connection. Through compassion, understanding, forgiveness, and a refusal to give up, disown, discard, or shame. When we inject back into education that level of humanity and connection, we will stop building so many prisons and get back to the business of life – community. We are all in this together.

Conscious Psychiatry

Reggie — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 19:13:17 +0000

I am finally writing about an experience I had recently with a psychiatrist. It was a good experience, so I want to share. Most of us (I hope!) loathe the idea of putting our child on any kind of medication, no matter what an educator or other professional may tell us is “wrong” with him or her (i.e. ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Anxiety, PTSD). We are especially concerned because psychiatrists often spend very little time with our child before assigning such a pathological label and prescribing potent drugs, too often as a cocktail in combination with other drugs. If we are not collectively disturbed about this, we need to be! However, today, and since having a long lunch with this particular psychiatrist, I feel hopeful that there are psychiatrists who spend a good deal of time with the child who will receive a prescription, as well as his or her family. This particular psychiatrist spent two hours with each of the clients I felt would benefit from such a consultation. He wanted to know their whole story so he would not be prescribing anything “in a vacumn,” as he said. He prescribed exactly what I felt would be of benefit to each child in very small doses, NOT in combination with any other drug, and further instructed the child NOT to take it if after he or she did, it didn’t feel right. He told me that he doesn’t want any of his patients taking anything that doesn’t feel good. And that is the whole idea. We need to want relief for our children, however that is possible. In rare cases, specific kinds of medicine tailored to very particular needs can be just the thing that provides the relief they need. I had a wake up call about this recently with two wonderful teenage girls I have worked with for over a year. The life circumstances related to their suffering were not only beyond their control, but also not going to change. They asked me for relief! They had the courage, knowing how I feel about medicating children – or anyone for that matter! – to ask me if I thought there was a pill that could help them cope with their feelings better. This question, after a year of hard work in therapy that brought some gains but not the relief they needed on a daily basis living in the situation they were in. It is at times like that I feel so grateful for conscious psychiatry. Each of the girls is on something now they feel good about, that is helping, and that is enhancing therapeutic outcome as we continue our work together. Thank you, my psychiatrist friend, for the work you do, and let us hope there are many more out there like you.

Resources for Parents and Educators

Reggie — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 20:37:55 +0000

Continuing my formal education until I was 30 years of age definitely hard-wired my brain to take summers off. But alas, it is time to get back to work. Although I’ve been seeing my clients in private practice – and enjoying that part of my work immensely – I must admit, I have been taking a break from everything else other than parenting my beautiful dream of a son. He is starting school shortly and reminding me that parents and educators need plenty of resources as we face another school year that will be filled with both the joys and sorrows of being alive. My newest book, You Can Heal Your Child: A Guide for Parents of Misdiagnosed, Stressed, Traumatized, and Otherwise Misunderstood Children never got a proper launching so that will happen shortly. Stay tuned…but please know that it is currently available at amazon.com as are my first book, Why Students Underachieve, and my activities book for adults working with children, Hope and Healing. Additionally, I have submitted more articles to ezinearticles.com so check those out for a free resource. I hope you will all join me in learning more about how we can stop the misdiagnoses and overmedication of our children, and in the process realize how we can all live a less stressful, more joyful life.

Update: You Can Heal Your Child

Reggie — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 02:49:56 +0000

Hi everyone. I didn’t know how best to do this so I am trying with my blog. Many of you have attempted to purchase my new book, You Can Heal Your Child: A Guide for Parents of Misdiagnosed, Stressed, Traumatized, and Otherwise Misunderstood Children, but amazon says it is “out of stock.” Here’s the deal: Unless you order it, amazon will not ask me to send them more books in order to re-stock. So please, I know it requires patience and can be frustrating…but order the book and I promise, you will get it. I know you will find the information worth waiting for. Take good care, and thank you for your support. Reggie (www.DrMelrose.com)

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Stress

Reggie — Fri, 29 May 2009 17:45:33 +0000

Brief periods of predictable, moderate stress are not problematic to us or our children. In fact, stressful experiences – when brief, predictable or moderate – prepare us all to cope with the world. Neuroscientific studies – those that look at the effects of stress on the brain – reveal that our survival depends upon the ability to mount a response to stress (Shonkoff & Phillips, 2000). When stress is unpredictable, severe, or prolonged, however, that is when problems arise for us as adults, as well as children. A child’s brain can literally be altered by stress in demonstrative ways that negatively impact physical, cognitive, emotional, and social growth. Please…parents, educators, and others who care for our children, notice, recognize, and acknowledge the kind of stress they are experiencing today. Connect the dots between that often overwhelming pressure they feel and the learning, behavioral, or emotional problems they may be displaying. Take action. Respond accordingly. We can make the difference. We can facilitate changes that reduce unpredictable, severe, or prolonged stress. Doing so can create the kind of relief, balance, and healing that radically decreases problems, whether learning, behavioral, or emotional. Learn more about what can be stressful for a child and what kinds of positive changes we can make in You Can Heal Your Child available at amazon.com. Visit www.DrMelrose.com for more information and resources.

Intervene Early

Reggie — Fri, 22 May 2009 02:07:54 +0000

Too many of us are guilty of intervening with our children too late. Whether they are struggling socially, emotionally, or with their academics, we want to believe our children’s behaviors are part of a normal transition from one stage of development to the next. As educators, we don’t want to overidentify problems. We want to believe, as parents do, that children catch up, they’re resilient, and they don’t need us making a bigger deal out of something than it has to be. Unfortunately, not wanting to overreact has meant we “under-respond.” Our children need us to be paying close attention, recognizing a genuine struggle when we see it, and doing something about it as early as possible. With reading, for example, statistics from the Canadian National Institute of Child Health and Human Development tell the tale: 95% of poor readers can be brought up to grade level if they receive effective help within the first couple of years of school; 75% of children whose help is delayed to age 9 or later continue to struggle throughout their school years; if help is given in 4th grade, rather than in late kindergarten, it takes 4 times as long to improve the same skills by the same amount; and, 44% of parents who noticed their child was struggling waited a year or more before acknowledging their child may have a problem. The truth is it is never too late to help a child, whether the challenge is academic, social, or emotional, but early intervention is what makes the biggest, quickest difference. Let none of us, parents or educators, delay in recognizing and responding to the needs of our children. To learn more about early intervention with the effects of stress and trauma in children, please visit www.DrMelrose.com and read You Can Heal Your Child available at amazon.com.

The Stress Factor

Reggie — Wed, 13 May 2009 04:50:27 +0000

I often hear parents, educators, and many concerned others ask the important question (in so many words): “Why has there been an increase in the incidence of various kinds of childhood problems?” We all want to understand why bullying is so rampant in schools today; why 1 in 150 births results in a child with Autism when just two decades ago it was closer to 1 in 10,000; why so many more children today appear to have ADHD, Bipolar, or depression. When I listen to panels of professionals answering these questions, I do not hear a discussion about the very real and profound impact of stress on the brain and nervous system, and ultimately on the conditions of our children’s lives. The sources of stress and daily pressure are innumerable, as are their consequences on babies developing in the womb, infants trying to bond, toddlers forming attachments, as well as children’s physiological states. It is long known that most of us are born with one genetic propensity or another that may or may not become realized depending upon a single critical factor – the presence or absence of stress. As I listen to the accounts of hundreds of troubled children describing their experiences it is clear to me that they are overwhelmed by ever increasing demands and expectations from teachers, coaches, parents, siblings, and peers. They experience peer pressure, sexual, cyber and other forms of bullying, as well as family reconfiguration that can often be confusing and painful. These have all become such “normal” parts of our children’s lives we fail to recognize their imprint. As we continue to study the effects of stress, crises, and other real events in our children’s lives, particularly on the brain, I believe we will have a clear understanding of why childhood problems have increased, and a clear direction on what to do about it. Less stress is best.

Please read You Can Heal Your Child to learn more.